What stips me bare, and what makes me: me

Warning: Infant loss discussed


There's this thing about me that a few of you know, and probably, if I had a brain in my head, I would leave it this way. But Oprah is on right now, and it's a show about organ donation. A really great show. Necessary. And it's pushing the only large button that I have.

A mother loses her child.

I cannot bear it, because I know how it feels. My son died 5 years ago. He didn't get to donate his heart, or share his corneas; he never got to draw a breath to tell you the truth. And I learned a very large lesson; that being, when your child dies, you change forever. The pain doesn't actually go away, it just mellows somewhat. Other days it is as intense as if you are currently in the exact moment when you found out that your child is gone.

I have tried so many things, and I have had so much support. And what I have come up with is that this is my cross to bear, and that hopefully I will have empathy and understanding for any other person who walks in my shoes.

That lady on TV today doesn't know it, but as the tears roll down my cheeks, and i clutch the memory of my son to my chest; she is my sister. We are in this together. I wish I had her grace.

If you wear these shoes too, please know that you are not alone. I will take your hand (and you can find me at the email address noted at the bottom of 'about me')



The photo above is a small teddy that was given to my son by the staff at the Peter Lougheed Hospital in Calgary. The Teddy is wearing my son's hat. This hat (and a sweet little jacket) was donated to us by a knitter. I am willing to bet that that knitter has suffered this type of loss in one way or another, or she wouldn't know how important it was that my son had clothing that she made. It is not possible to buy clothing that small; it has to be specially and mindfully created.

On February 8th, at Make one Yarn Studio, I'm going to be that knitter for someone else.

Just in case you don't think that charity knitting is important, I'm here to tell you differently. It's critical. Please take part in a cause that is close to your heart.

Hey, here's a really cool thing...

Seems like magic to me, anyway. I was reading blogs one day, and saw a similar picture to what I've posted, above. Someone had placed their cake of yarn (previously referred to as a hockey puck) on the spindle of a bulk cd holder - you'll have to click on the picture to actually see what I'm talking about. It works so well, & I'm just thrilled with it. When I wound this centre pull ball (it's the silk/wool that I was spinning a few days ago) it was so tight in the centre, that I couldn't get it to feed... so I decided to work from the outside of the ball, and to try the spindle. You should SO try this! You're gonna love it.

I've been working on a Fir-cone shawl that I found in that list of shawls I posted yesterday. It's going well. I need a lace success. I must have 5 Evelyn Clark shawl patterns on their way, so soon I'll be up to my ears in shawls (or.. I'll have Christmas 2008 handled).

I watched a number of George Strombouloupoulis podcasts; it's either that or stay up too late at night. Do you ever watch Strombo? You ought to give him a whirl; he's totally great.

Mug and I were at Make One this afternoon (by the way.. I don't hate circs at all.. I hate circs that are longer than I need.) I bought a shorter set for a piece of lace I'm knitting; it's a major improvement, and knitting is going well. Anyway.. back on topic... Heather was there with her sweet little puppy. Mug fell in love, and discovered that it would cost many, many hundreds of dollars to have such a puppy. She is totally heart broken. Spent the entire afternoon counting coins, and discovered she had a $600.00 shortfall. She offered to wash windows.

So.. poor thing cried herself to sleep. Reality is a tough lesson. It's hard to be a mom some days.

The view from my bedroom window

IMG_2030.JPG
Originally uploaded by spinknit

I'm serious! This is the craziest, swirly later of ice you've ever seen on the inside of any window. About 1/4" thick, Kate impressed her hand into it last night and made a really cool image. I tried it myself today, and let me tell you... to melt to the glass, it hurts a LOT. So, my hand print is a bit fuzzy.

Just incase you're into a few more free shawl/stole/scarf/wrap patterns, (say.. hundreds) go here!

psst: I blocked Hela. We're approaching steek cutting.

A lot of exciting things

One of which is that it is bitterly cold. My truck is frozen solid, and we discovered that it does not have a block heater (haven't needed one, and didn't have the foresight to look before I did!); so it will sit out front until the weather breaks. I can't work, because I have no way to transport my tools. This isn't that sad, really, because the thought of working outside at a wind chill of -50 (I'm not kidding.. minus FIFTY) doesn't do a thing for me. The sun was shining this afternoon, and gave the impression that it was a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Simultaneously, I let Spike outside to do his business, and he came back in limping. I think we need to buy the dog some shoes?

Have I mentioned that there is no heat in our bedroom? None at all... and little insulation either. At the moment there is a sheet of ice on the bedroom window about a 1/4" thick. I'll take a picture later of the ice on the *inside* of the house. Nothing like a 1912 house, I'll tell you that.

Dida helped me locate some mailing tubes, so one of the final issues of the blocking kits was ironed out. Turns out that the 36" tubes that I had purchased could only contain something 35" long. Handy...

Thank you Mandie for offering to proof read for me. I really appreciate that! I will be in touch.

Finally, and happily... tonight I ended my contract for hardwood service. On February 4th I will be starting a new and exciting job. I'm thrilled, and I'll share more with you next week.

In the meantime; I did some 'cold winter day' knitting today. Made another Funky Chunky Toque for Maddie (a little small.. so it's about to be blocked) and wound some BFL that I had spun. I think I'll take Mr.G. for a spin in a minute, and i need to calculate how much yardage I got from the silk/wool that I finished last week.

I hope all is well at your house, and that everyone is keeping warm.

A call for assistance

I've just completed the first draft of blocking instructions for the Spinknit blocking wire kits. I am looking for a few people to review these instructions. Also, I need a few pictures of garment pieces and lace being blocked, using wires.

Can you help?

Thanks in advance!

Oh, psssst: I finished plying the silk, and I wet finished all of that (man.. it's going to be a really, really great shawl), and some 3ply BFL that I spun at Make One's last Spin-In. I am just about dying to find out how many yards I got out of the silk. I think it's somewhere between lace and sock weight.

Later in the day I took Anna skating; I sat and fixed two messed up cables. I had dreamed about it all night long, so by the time I actually tried it, I had the process down pat! Knit a few inches on Mr.G. tonight. I have learned my lesson about knitting when I'm over tired. It's just not worth it.

Now... I'm going to stop typing when I'm overtired. And that would be now.

Interweave is my friend.

I love Interweave. Especially today.

I was checking out my email only to discover that I had somehow missed opening a Knitting Daily, and in it was... get this... a list of back issues that are on sale. I just about swallowed my tongue in my haste to get the Swallowtail Shawl issue. Let's not even mention the issue with her Paisley Lace Shawl.

Here's me.. jumping for joy. If there are Evelyn Clark groupies, then I am one.

While I was looking through the tables of contents, I got into Spin-Off, and found a few cool spinning articles. Spinning Basics: Spinning on a Wheel, Drafting for Woolen and Worsted-Style on a Spindle, Plying Chained Singles, and The Art of Plying.

OK, that's it for now; because it's homemade pizza night at the Rabitt hutch, and it's my turn to create. May your Friday night be half as yummy as mine.

Wire blocking kits, etc.

I'm in the last stages of putting together lace blocking kits, and plan to take them to Make One this weekend. I'm excited!

Other than that I've been pretty focused on plying the silk/wool (about 1/2 done.. holy crap there's a lot of yardage when you're spinning lace weight). I also picked up Mr.G after frogging all the cabling I had done. It's correct now, and I've gotten over the trauma. Poor Dida; she started knitting a large, and now she's losing weight and realized that it's a medium that she needs... So.. to the frog pond. In the meantime, she's knitting the Totally Autumn blanket (from Knitty) with wool she bought at the M1 boxing day sale. She didn't realize it was a large version of lace knitting. Makes me smile... she's so bitten by the bug.

I've decided on my next tattoo. Definitely something edgy in the knitting realm. Something with flames and knitting needles. I'm going to put it at the top of my arm. Ya baby. I like the look of that temporary 'Knit or Die' tattoo, but I'll design something of my own.

Here's some fun knitting tattoos for you to enjoy. Not enough flames if you ask me. I'm just sayin..